Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Six months TTC

This week is officially six months since we started TTC. It feels like so much longer than six months. And when I think of how I committed to doing this for a whole year before getting help I wonder where my head was. I want to be pregnant RIGHT NOW. But I just have to calm myself down, reread my list of reasons for waiting for infertility treatment, and get grounded again. I realize that six months is not long that long in TTC Land. I know it takes some years and I hope I don't sound insensitive. I just needed to vent though.

When I see myself in a full-length mirror I start feeling disgusted and wonder how I can even think this body could possibly get pregnant? I'm no longer overweight; I'm obese. It hurts to acknowledge that but I have to. I have to get real and realize that eating sugar and "bad" carbs are doing me a huge disservice. I need to put them down, get healthy, and only then will I have a chance to conceive. I'm full of hatred for my body now. I need to turn this emotion into something positive - and do something about this! Right away my mind is going to, "But it's Thanksgiving next week, I might as well wait." Ugh.

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