Monday, November 8, 2010

Friend's miscarriage

Once again, there is not a whole lot going on right now with me. My husband is still out of work, I'm still not pregnant, etc. Life feels sort of monotonous right now, as if I'm a hamster on a wheel.

I'm on cycle day 12 of my fifth cycle charting. So far, I have absolutely nothing to report.

I had my eighth acupuncture appointment on Saturday and I'm at the point now where I don't think I can afford biweekly appointments anymore. I'm sorry I didn't speak up and say something. Instead I just made the appointment (for 16 days, not 14) and now am plotting how to reschedule it for another two weeks. When I first started seeing her she told me I'd need to come pretty close together for the first 6-8 sessions (as acupuncture has a cumulative effect). After about four I started getting antsy as it was getting expensive that soon. So I discussed it with her and she said she'd really like me to come another few sessions in quick succession and then we'd discuss spreading them apart more. I realize I am going to be the one who has to speak up. After all she is not going to discourage me from coming every two weeks. That is money in her pocket. So I will need to speak up and say that I cannot continue to afford these treatments, as much as I wish I could. I wonder if going once a month would have much benefit. Ahh, why do I have to be such a people pleaser?

One of my two pregnant friends just miscarried though, and my heart is breaking for her. I was really rooting for her and her little bean but he/she did not stick. I feel so bad for my friend though and I hope she can conceive again soon. It took her awhile to conceive this one so my thoughts are definitely with her. I can't help but wonder if I'm not getting pregnant yet because someone out there knows I couldn't handle something like this right now. Who knows.

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