Monday, August 30, 2010

Surgery tomorrow!

So my surgery will be in the morning and after that I can finally resume my herbs. I cannot wait. I feel a bit panicky without them. It's my cycle day 20 and no ovulation yet. That's not unusual. Even on the herbs I did not ovulate until closer to cycle day 30. I'm not nervous about my surgery but I'm hoping it goes well and I'm not in a lot of pain afterwards. (I live in a dreamworld.)

I did get my HSG results the day after I called. The nurse at my RE's office told me everything was "wunderbar." It's a good thing I'm German or I might not have known what she meant. (Ha ha.) So it's nice to know that's not the issue. Now my husband still has to get his semen analysis. Fun fun!

So life is just dealing us a bunch of crap right now. Six days ago someone either pulled a nice hit-and-run on my car or vandalized it but either way I was left with a damaged driver's side rear door on my baby (car). The good news is since the police officer feels it was probably vandalism it falls under my comprehensive coverage which has a $250 deductible as opposed to a $500 deductible for collision.

And on Thursday my husband abruptly lost his job. We went through this less than two years ago as well. So far I'm handling it much better than last time. I did not cry or despair. But it's still early (four days later). The silver lining is that he can go get his semen analysis any day now! We were having issues scheduling it for a time he could be home. Now it won't be an issue. :(

We haven't had a real heart-to-heart yet as to whether or not we are going to continue TTC during his unemployment, since it would feel selfish for me to bring that up right now, but he hasn't acted any differently about it. He still talks as if it's happening. I'd hate to give up because of that, especially since the odds are stacked against us. But I don't want him to have anything else stressing him out. He certainly is not as excited about or eager as I am to have a child. It is definitely different for men and women.

I can't even tell you how many books I've read regarding conception and infertility since we started this journey. I went to the library today and picked up a copy of The Infertility Cure by Dr. Randine Lewis. I'm hooked already! Of course, this is the stuff I'm into. I had my second acupuncture appointment on Friday. I'm going to be having weekly appointments for at least 4-8 weeks and then we'll discuss how many I can cut back to. It is certainly not inexpensive but I really feel that that the Eastern ways have a lot to offer so that is what I'm working on now. I really like acupuncture. Some of the needles give me a bit of a jolt, others feel like a light touch on the skin, and others I don't feel at all. I know it's not the needle actually hurting since it is so fine (as fine as a human hair) and so flexible and inserted so slightly. It all has to do with the Qi (chee) in my body.

My doctor suggested Clomid but I wanted to try herbs and acupuncture first. I'm not against Clomid but I certainly don't want it to be my first line of defense. There are too many side effects for me to take it that lightly. I really like my RE but I don't like how he just so quickly suggested "bariatric surgery and Clomid" as the answer to my problems. I know too many people that have had bariatric surgery and regained their weight. And Clomid has its place I'm sure but I have to respect the side effects.

I went for a nice walk today with a friend. We walked about 35 minutes and ended with a killer hill. I had a short cool down before I arrived at home. Today was also my fifth day without sugar. Yay me! The sugar had to go. I am addicted to it and I won't lose weight (and therefore get into a healthy baby-making body) as long as I'm eating it. So five days down. Whew. It gets easier the longer I abstain. These first few weeks (this is not the first time I've done this) are not easy. The cravings are there often.

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