Tuesday, December 28, 2010


I'm now on day 62 of this horrible seemingly never-ending cycle! I finished up my Provera on Christmas night but I think it was probably after midnight so it was technically the 26th and I've calculated ahead that I should be getting my period by January 9th at the latest. They said 1-2 weeks. Today my doctor's office also called to say that my doctor would like me to come in for a consult regarding Clomid or Femara. So he must remember that he told me a few months ago that Femara was an option. So now I'm not sure which I'm doing but I did call back while we were at a rest area today (we were taking my niece & nephew home and hubby ran in to get me a coffee while I stayed in the car since my niece was sleeping) and I made an appointment for January 4. Since the doctor's office is not even a mile from our house and hubby is still not working, I asked him to meet me there. I'll be coming from work (will have to take an hour or so off - or take an early lunch or whatever). I'm so excited and nervous we're moving forward with the next step! Hubby is excited and nervous too but I think he is less excited and more nervous. I think that is par for the course and am moving past feeling "hurt" by it. We've had lots of talks about it and he knows if he's not ready he can say so and he's no longer saying, "Let's wait, I'm not ready." I think he finally gets that maybe there never is a perfect time to have a baby or that maybe lots of other people experience nervousness as well. This is a huge step; it's only natural.

While our niece and nephew were here, my hubby told me that our niece needed to stop being so cute because she was making him really hope for a daughter someday. He usually doesn't have a preference. I always wanted a girl (I think because the boys I used to baby-sit were so disobedient and wild) and then once I had nephews I fell in love with boys too. I still have a soft spot for girls though. I really don't have much of a preference but I think I 51% want a girl, 49% want a boy. So basically I'll be happy with either (just want to get pregnant!!) and he has never had much of a preference but now seems to be leaning towards wanting a girl. Ha ha - we both know we have absolutely no control over that! I think our niece has just endeared herself to my husband though because she adores him - follows him around, climbs on his lap, peppers him with questions, on and on. He and I actually started dating the weekend after she was born so he's known her since she was very very young and was part of our family as long as she can remember.

We had a great time with both kids here. I won't lie, it was stressful at times. It's hard to clean up after them, make sure they're OK, watch them, discipline them, and still get everything else done but it was fun and I know motherhood will be so worth it! I feel sad now that they're gone.

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