No ovulation...on to next cycle.

So last cycle was a bust and I don't meant that I got a BFN (negative). I mean that I never even ovulated. Ahh, well. I'm on day 3 of a new cycle now. I'm trying not to analyze the last cycle but I keep doing it anyway. My acupuncturist told me that in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) it is believed that every time your body leaves the ground it affects your cycle. Maybe she was just trying to make me feel better. I also am having very mixed feelings about the soy isoflavones. Part of me feels they made my cycle anovulatory, part of me wants to give them another chance at a higher dose. But not this cycle. This cycle I'm going back to basics. I'm taking only the things my naturopath recommended, Ovablend and Vitex, for hormonal health. For insulin resistance (which I'm not 100% sure I have) I'm taking cinnamon and d-chiro-inositol (DCI). And from day 14 til the start of next cycle, my naturopath recommended flaxseed (1 tbsp. per day) and Phytoprogest (2 droppersful per day). So for the first 14 days I'll take four supplements plus prenatal vitamin and then from day 14 on I add the flaxseed (I usually mix it into coconut milk yogurt since I shouldn't eat dairy) and take the Phytoprogest in a glass of water. Except for the DCI my naturopath knows about everything and has recommended all but the cinnamon (but likes the idea of my taking that). She does not believe I have insulin resistance but I feel I do so that is why I'm taking the DCI.

As for the soy, I want to see if my next few cycles are ovulatory. If they are but I don't conceive, I might try a higher dosage of soy in a few months. If I don't ovulate that month, then maybe that will convince me that soy doesn't work for me and I can just forget about it once and for all. I did take a low dosage (120 mg). I've heard of other women with my condition taking 280 mg or thereabouts.

I have another acupuncture treatment in seven days (will be my eighth visit I believe and after that I hope she lets me cut back to once a month or so as I'm having a hard time affording it). At acupuncture she treats me according to where I am in my cycle and I love when what she does and what I read in Randine Lewis' book coincide and I feel so hopeful. She told me to avoid yams and to keep my uterus warm with a warm water bottle or heating pad and I read both of those in the book (which I've had from the library for months now - thank God for renewals and the fact no one else has it reserved).

Two of my very best friends are pregnant right now and I so badly want to join them but I know it must not be my time yet. Regarding another issue in my life, a friend told me the other day that God doesn't say no. He says, "Yes," "Not now," or "I've got something better for you." I'm not very religious but I like the idea that God is watching out for me. :) I also believe that this journey will make me a better and more compassionate mother.

So I really don't have much of an update but just wanted to check in for my few readers.

Out of patience

Ugh, I have so many expectations and they are not being met: the expectation that my body will work the way it should, that I will ovulate like a normal woman, that I can ovulate before day 30 or even day 20.

I have been experiencing signs of pending ovulation yet I cannot seem to get a positive OPK this month. I'm practically dripping with fertile cervical mucus. I know this is all TMI but I'm so frustrated I just need to share it somewhere.

Last cycle I had positive OPKs on cycle day 29 and 30 and then I ovulated on cycle day 31. I'm on cycle day 29 right now hence my utter frustration and impatience.

I hope to have positive news to share soon - at least that I ovulated.

I was on vacation for five nights and I was so bad with charting. I was afraid I'd miss my ovulation day but no worries there, I did not ovulate at all.

If this cycle is a bust too I am really considering purchasing the incredibly expensive Insulite Labs system for PCOS. I know, I'm grasping at straws here.

Nothing new

I know it's been awhile since I've written but really, there is not much to write about it. I'm on my fourth charted cycle, waiting for ovulation, and I'm on day 21.

I was considering getting a second opinion from another RE but realized they would want to do a full exam and take all kinds of blood work which would cost me a morning or afternoon off work and right now I just can't do it. All the days I'm willing to use this year are already booked. I have one week of vacation left and my hope/plan/goal is to roll it to 2011 (you know, in case I have a baby and can take a maternity leave).

I keep getting these ideas to move on to the Clomid or Femara and then I have to pull myself back to reality. I actually made myself a list of reasons why I should wait until next May/June to start treatment. I have to keep rereading it to keep it fresh in my mind. I'll share most of the reasons here too.

1. Really give my body a chance to do it naturally
2. Give my mind/stubbornness a chance
3. Give hubby time to find a job
4. Timing will be right for a spring baby (which is what I would choose in a perfect world)
5. FSA will be "loaded up" and ready to handle the expenses
6. Health insurance MAY cover IF coverage next year (long shot)
7. Women with PCOS CAN conceive naturally - it might be harder but it is not impossible
8. Our financial situation may be better
9. I can enjoy Disney World (leaving this week!)
10. I invested a lot of money into naturopathy & acupuncture and should give it time to work
11. IF treatments have side effects - nothing to take lightly