The nurse just called from my RE's office. She said my hormones were fine (estrogen 39 and FSH 4.9 on day 2) so I'm ready to start the letrozole on Saturday. I'll take it five days (Saturday the 1st through Wednesday the 5th) and then I go in for day 12 blood work and ultrasound, which is a Sunday and they gave me an 8:30 appointment! It did not hit me until I hung up how EARLY that is for me. I am a big night owl. Maybe I'll call next week and see if they have anything later but if not, I'll suck it up and go.
I'm kind of in shock. I woke up this morning expecting them to call and say there was some issue and I could not start the Femara. When did I become so negative and hopeless?
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Femara, not Clomid!
So I had my RE consult today with one of the other doctors at the practice (Dr. Cool since Dr. Wonderful couldn't be there). He was very nice and I felt very comfortable with him. He seemed very cool, like he's such a cool guy. Most of my questions he answered while he was talking which is a good sign to me. I hate when the doctor hardly says anything and the only way I can get information is to ask questions. Don't get me wrong, the patient should always ask questions but it's nice when the doctor gives you some basic information first. The one question I forgot to ask is he knew why my left ovary area was hurting so bad. It started shortly after I got my period yesterday and hasn't let up.
Dr. Cool told me that I could take Clomid or Femara and went over the pros and cons to each. Basically the only con I remember for Femara is that I had to sign a form saying I agreed to take it and he said mostly that was due to a (flawed) study that had been done on Femara saying it caused birth defects. He said that Clomid can thin the uterine lining and make cervical mucus thicker, which I knew. He really left it up to me. I decided to go with Femara and my hubby feels I made the right choice. Then the doctor says to me he wants to do some bloodwork and an ultrasound. I was mortified since I had my period and it was a vaginal ultrasound but I figured I need to get used to this! So I had the ultrasound and here my right ovary looks good but my left ovary has a cyst. So maybe that is the cause of my pain. He explained that this ultrasound is a baseline ultrasound so when I come back closer to ovulation he'll know what was already there (like the cyst on my left ovary).
Since my RE's office charges the same amount for a monitored cycle with IUI as they do for a monitored cycle without IUI, we will probably move forward with the IUI as well. He said in almost all cases they do a trigger shot too so I have that to look forward to. He told me that each Femara/IUI cycle has a 15% success rate. That doesn't sound too promising but I'm just going to try to stay even-keeled - hopeful but not too hopeful.
Right now I'm waiting for the call back from them tomorrow regarding my bloodwork results. If everything is fine, I can start the Femara on day 4 (Sunday, 1/1/11 - a great day for a new start!) and take it through day 8. And then the rest I'll figure out as we go.
Dr. Cool told me that I could take Clomid or Femara and went over the pros and cons to each. Basically the only con I remember for Femara is that I had to sign a form saying I agreed to take it and he said mostly that was due to a (flawed) study that had been done on Femara saying it caused birth defects. He said that Clomid can thin the uterine lining and make cervical mucus thicker, which I knew. He really left it up to me. I decided to go with Femara and my hubby feels I made the right choice. Then the doctor says to me he wants to do some bloodwork and an ultrasound. I was mortified since I had my period and it was a vaginal ultrasound but I figured I need to get used to this! So I had the ultrasound and here my right ovary looks good but my left ovary has a cyst. So maybe that is the cause of my pain. He explained that this ultrasound is a baseline ultrasound so when I come back closer to ovulation he'll know what was already there (like the cyst on my left ovary).
Since my RE's office charges the same amount for a monitored cycle with IUI as they do for a monitored cycle without IUI, we will probably move forward with the IUI as well. He said in almost all cases they do a trigger shot too so I have that to look forward to. He told me that each Femara/IUI cycle has a 15% success rate. That doesn't sound too promising but I'm just going to try to stay even-keeled - hopeful but not too hopeful.
Right now I'm waiting for the call back from them tomorrow regarding my bloodwork results. If everything is fine, I can start the Femara on day 4 (Sunday, 1/1/11 - a great day for a new start!) and take it through day 8. And then the rest I'll figure out as we go.
Sick hubby.
I'm off to the doctor in 45 minutes! Eek!!
And I just had to share this. You know how some men are so dramatic when they're sick? Well, this morning my hubby woke up with vomiting and diarrhea and when I left for work he told me if he doesn't pull through this, he wants me to have all of his things. I almost laughed out loud and then I said, "Well, thanks, but I'm sure you'll be fine." How hilarious is that???
Meanwhile I had the same sickness three days ago, woke up at 4:15 a.m. with it, threw up, and came back to bed sweaty and shivering. I said, "Honey, I threw up," and he rolled over and away from me. He had no sympathy for me and now he wants me to act like he's at death's door. SO FREAKIN' FUNNY!
And I just had to share this. You know how some men are so dramatic when they're sick? Well, this morning my hubby woke up with vomiting and diarrhea and when I left for work he told me if he doesn't pull through this, he wants me to have all of his things. I almost laughed out loud and then I said, "Well, thanks, but I'm sure you'll be fine." How hilarious is that???
Meanwhile I had the same sickness three days ago, woke up at 4:15 a.m. with it, threw up, and came back to bed sweaty and shivering. I said, "Honey, I threw up," and he rolled over and away from me. He had no sympathy for me and now he wants me to act like he's at death's door. SO FREAKIN' FUNNY!
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Cycle day 1!
Oh, wow, I wasn't expecting a new cycle to begin until this weekend at the earliest (Happy New Year to me, right?). Well, Aunt Flo has decided to come visit today! I'm not complaining. I've never been so excited to see her. There is a little wrinkle in the plan though in that I don't see the doctor until the 4th which will be day 7 so I need to call and figure out what to do next because if I'm starting Clomid I'll need to start Saturday or Sunday (day 4 or 5). Oh, my! I'll update later with what I find out when I call (on my lunch break).
About 1 hour & 45 minutes later: Well, it turns out my doctor is on vacation right now and won't be back til the 3rd. So they're going to have me come in tomorrow to see another doctor. I'm very nervous as I've grown comfortable with my usual doctor and don't want to switch but I do not want to sit this cycle so I'll deal with it. I'm sure the other doctor is fine. I am just resistant to change at times. So in 24 hours I'll be at my appointment. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
About 1 hour & 45 minutes later: Well, it turns out my doctor is on vacation right now and won't be back til the 3rd. So they're going to have me come in tomorrow to see another doctor. I'm very nervous as I've grown comfortable with my usual doctor and don't want to switch but I do not want to sit this cycle so I'll deal with it. I'm sure the other doctor is fine. I am just resistant to change at times. So in 24 hours I'll be at my appointment. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Update
I'm now on day 62 of this horrible seemingly never-ending cycle! I finished up my Provera on Christmas night but I think it was probably after midnight so it was technically the 26th and I've calculated ahead that I should be getting my period by January 9th at the latest. They said 1-2 weeks. Today my doctor's office also called to say that my doctor would like me to come in for a consult regarding Clomid or Femara. So he must remember that he told me a few months ago that Femara was an option. So now I'm not sure which I'm doing but I did call back while we were at a rest area today (we were taking my niece & nephew home and hubby ran in to get me a coffee while I stayed in the car since my niece was sleeping) and I made an appointment for January 4. Since the doctor's office is not even a mile from our house and hubby is still not working, I asked him to meet me there. I'll be coming from work (will have to take an hour or so off - or take an early lunch or whatever). I'm so excited and nervous we're moving forward with the next step! Hubby is excited and nervous too but I think he is less excited and more nervous. I think that is par for the course and am moving past feeling "hurt" by it. We've had lots of talks about it and he knows if he's not ready he can say so and he's no longer saying, "Let's wait, I'm not ready." I think he finally gets that maybe there never is a perfect time to have a baby or that maybe lots of other people experience nervousness as well. This is a huge step; it's only natural.
While our niece and nephew were here, my hubby told me that our niece needed to stop being so cute because she was making him really hope for a daughter someday. He usually doesn't have a preference. I always wanted a girl (I think because the boys I used to baby-sit were so disobedient and wild) and then once I had nephews I fell in love with boys too. I still have a soft spot for girls though. I really don't have much of a preference but I think I 51% want a girl, 49% want a boy. So basically I'll be happy with either (just want to get pregnant!!) and he has never had much of a preference but now seems to be leaning towards wanting a girl. Ha ha - we both know we have absolutely no control over that! I think our niece has just endeared herself to my husband though because she adores him - follows him around, climbs on his lap, peppers him with questions, on and on. He and I actually started dating the weekend after she was born so he's known her since she was very very young and was part of our family as long as she can remember.
We had a great time with both kids here. I won't lie, it was stressful at times. It's hard to clean up after them, make sure they're OK, watch them, discipline them, and still get everything else done but it was fun and I know motherhood will be so worth it! I feel sad now that they're gone.
While our niece and nephew were here, my hubby told me that our niece needed to stop being so cute because she was making him really hope for a daughter someday. He usually doesn't have a preference. I always wanted a girl (I think because the boys I used to baby-sit were so disobedient and wild) and then once I had nephews I fell in love with boys too. I still have a soft spot for girls though. I really don't have much of a preference but I think I 51% want a girl, 49% want a boy. So basically I'll be happy with either (just want to get pregnant!!) and he has never had much of a preference but now seems to be leaning towards wanting a girl. Ha ha - we both know we have absolutely no control over that! I think our niece has just endeared herself to my husband though because she adores him - follows him around, climbs on his lap, peppers him with questions, on and on. He and I actually started dating the weekend after she was born so he's known her since she was very very young and was part of our family as long as she can remember.
We had a great time with both kids here. I won't lie, it was stressful at times. It's hard to clean up after them, make sure they're OK, watch them, discipline them, and still get everything else done but it was fun and I know motherhood will be so worth it! I feel sad now that they're gone.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Dreaming of the Future
I don't know why I let myself go there but every once in awhile I'll log onto Babies R Us or the Land of Nod web site and start dreaming about what nursery set I'd get if I were pregnant. Lately I'm really loving this one for a girl. And for a boy I kind of like this one but I don't love it. I hope by the time I actually get pregnant and am ready for this stuff, they'll have a design I love - or maybe this one will have grown on me. This one is also kind of cute. To make matters worse, I often think it might be nice to be surprised by the gender which would mean I'd have to go with a neutral set. However, they usually wind up looking more boyish to me though.
I always remember my mom saying how much easier it was to find cute girl stuff than cute boy stuff and I know what she means. I don't mean (and she did not mean) that boys are not as cute as girls but it seems like there is so much more variety for girls with clothing and decor than there is for boys. I will be happy to have either. I used to always prefer girls but my nephews have made me adore boys as well. They are ages 8 and 2. The 8-year-old is actually here snug as a bug in my house right now with his 6-year-old sister. He is a great kid and I love him. He is the one who made me an aunt. :) And his little 2-year-old brother I could just hug and squeeze all day. He is so stinking adorable with his floppy blond hair and blue eyes. I thank God for these kids because even though I don't have any of my own I get to have children in my life and they're awesome.
And [drumroll please] tonight is my last Provera pill so I should be expecting my period in a week or two and can be taking Clomid sometime in January. I am so excited - but also trying not to get my hopes up too much that I'll even ovulate!
I always remember my mom saying how much easier it was to find cute girl stuff than cute boy stuff and I know what she means. I don't mean (and she did not mean) that boys are not as cute as girls but it seems like there is so much more variety for girls with clothing and decor than there is for boys. I will be happy to have either. I used to always prefer girls but my nephews have made me adore boys as well. They are ages 8 and 2. The 8-year-old is actually here snug as a bug in my house right now with his 6-year-old sister. He is a great kid and I love him. He is the one who made me an aunt. :) And his little 2-year-old brother I could just hug and squeeze all day. He is so stinking adorable with his floppy blond hair and blue eyes. I thank God for these kids because even though I don't have any of my own I get to have children in my life and they're awesome.
And [drumroll please] tonight is my last Provera pill so I should be expecting my period in a week or two and can be taking Clomid sometime in January. I am so excited - but also trying not to get my hopes up too much that I'll even ovulate!
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas to anyone who might be reading this! I love Christmas. I am like a little kid at this time of year, full of excitement. I'm sitting here in my living room, glancing at our gorgeous tree, the most beautiful tree I've ever had. We drove about 20-30 minutes up the road, way out into the country, and got it from a tree farm. It was a freezing cold day so I did not take the time to look at too many trees. We saw one we liked and I said, "Let's get it." It was way more money than I'd ever imagined spending on a tree but I'm so glad we did it. I've gotten three weeks of enjoyment out of it already and we hope to keep it up another week or two.
We spent last night with my husband's family, the Italian side, and went to his aunt's for the traditional "seven fishes" Christmas Eve dinner. There may have been more than seven "fishes." There was shrimp cocktail, breaded shrimp, calamari, crab cakes, baccala, and I cannot remember what else. Usually there are also flounder and lobster but his aunt forgot to take the flounder out of the freezer and she did not buy lobster this year. In addition to all the seafood, there was salad, potato salad, mozzarella, another kind of cheese, chicken cutlet (for my cousins who don't like seafood), macaroni and cheese (again, for the little cousins who don't like seafood), and I can't remember what else, but I can't forget the homemade wine (hubby had several glasses of that!). Then for dessert, there are Italian cookies, panettone, panforte, espresso, (American) coffee, and more alcohol, grappa, limoncello, sambuca, etc. We had a great time. I love my husband's extended family. His father passed away 14, almost 15, years ago, and these are his relatives. My husband's mother and brother did not come to Christmas Eve.
Today we are headed to my parents' house where we'll get to be with most of my siblings and my adorable nephews and niece. We are bringing my 8-year-old nephew and 6-year-old niece back to our house at the end of the day and they'll be staying overnight with us for two nights. I'm so excited. I love these kids. We might get snow tonight and tomorrow so if so we'll just hang out and watch movies but if not, we have a fun-filled day planned for tomorrow. So we're just playing it by ear.
I'm so glad that I'm able to stay excited and happy during this time even when my heart is aching for a baby. I truly hope this is my last Christmas where I'm not a mom or a mom-to-be. I really hope the treatments work for us next year. It's going to be so difficult with BOTH of our best friends having babies next year.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!
We spent last night with my husband's family, the Italian side, and went to his aunt's for the traditional "seven fishes" Christmas Eve dinner. There may have been more than seven "fishes." There was shrimp cocktail, breaded shrimp, calamari, crab cakes, baccala, and I cannot remember what else. Usually there are also flounder and lobster but his aunt forgot to take the flounder out of the freezer and she did not buy lobster this year. In addition to all the seafood, there was salad, potato salad, mozzarella, another kind of cheese, chicken cutlet (for my cousins who don't like seafood), macaroni and cheese (again, for the little cousins who don't like seafood), and I can't remember what else, but I can't forget the homemade wine (hubby had several glasses of that!). Then for dessert, there are Italian cookies, panettone, panforte, espresso, (American) coffee, and more alcohol, grappa, limoncello, sambuca, etc. We had a great time. I love my husband's extended family. His father passed away 14, almost 15, years ago, and these are his relatives. My husband's mother and brother did not come to Christmas Eve.
Today we are headed to my parents' house where we'll get to be with most of my siblings and my adorable nephews and niece. We are bringing my 8-year-old nephew and 6-year-old niece back to our house at the end of the day and they'll be staying overnight with us for two nights. I'm so excited. I love these kids. We might get snow tonight and tomorrow so if so we'll just hang out and watch movies but if not, we have a fun-filled day planned for tomorrow. So we're just playing it by ear.
I'm so glad that I'm able to stay excited and happy during this time even when my heart is aching for a baby. I truly hope this is my last Christmas where I'm not a mom or a mom-to-be. I really hope the treatments work for us next year. It's going to be so difficult with BOTH of our best friends having babies next year.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!
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