New blog home reminder!

Please remember to go to my new blog and subscribe to that one now. I'm no longer updating this one and I don't want to lose my lovely readers! Thanks!

New blog home!

Since I'm no longer "TTC Baby C" I decided to make a new blog. Please visit it at:

http://ourbabycmakesthree.blogspot.com/2011/04/new-stage-in-our-baby-journey-new-blog.html

Our little "green olive" - 9w2d update.

So today was our second-to-last appointment. I found out I will graduate for sure at 10 weeks, which will be next Wednesday, 4/13.

Today our baby's heartbeat was at 177 beats per minute. And the baby dated exactly 9 weeks 2 days today - right on track. I'm not even sure how big it really is right now but according to my ticker on thebump.com it's the size of a green olive. My progesterone is 15 and I have to take the Endometrin suppositories until I'm 11 weeks.

I had a consultation with a midwife on Tuesday. For the most part it went well but I found out that since my BMI is over 30 I cannot give birth at her birthing center (or at home for that matter). But she reassured me and said that my birth at the hospital she delivers at will feel very similar to a birth at the birthing center. She will provide labor support and she will be there (well, she or the other midwife in her practice) and the baby will stay with me from the moment he/she is born. It will be delivered and placed on my stomach and won't be taken to the nursery or elsewhere unless there is a problem. The nurses won't bottle feed our baby. She said lots of things that made me feel good. I was pretty upset though that I can't deliver in a homelike setting because I'm too "fat." But I know the important thing is a healthy baby and I don't want to jeopardize my baby's safety even though I don't feel being overweight and having no other risk factors really SHOULD make me high-risk but I'm not going to argue that point.

Thought it was our last RE appointment!

I thought today was my last RE appointment and I was feeling sad that I wouldn't get to "see" my baby again for another 10-12 weeks but Dr. Cool said, "See you in a week." Yippee!!

My progesterone is 14 still. The heartbeat was 170 beats per minute. And the baby (raspberry sized now) was upside down. It is much bigger than last week but still doesn't look *that* much like a baby. :) We also saw the umbilical cord which was just so cool!

Today our baby measured as 8 weeks, 3 days. That would line up with what I originally thought was my due date (11/8), the date that was almost our wedding date (but we wound up getting married a few weeks earlier in October). This is the third time it's been "off."

I have a consultation on Tuesday with a midwife at a birthing center. I hope she will take my case on and not as "high risk." If I'm high risk I would need to have a planned hospital birth at a hospital she's affiliated with which is hardly the one closest to my house. There are (at least) three others closer to my house with better reputations. So I won't be making any decisions until then. We'll see what happens.

7w1d update

I'm once again behind on updating this.

I had blood work and ultrasound done on Thursday when I was 7 weeks 1 day pregnant. My husband came to this one and he got to hear the heartbeat for the first time. It was my second time hearing it and it was 144 beats per minute. I was with Dr. Cool this time and when he first came into the room he seemed very concerned and caring and asked how I was and if there had been any more bleeding since Sunday and I told him no.

The baby measured at 6w6d. One other time it was 1 day behind and now it was 2 days behind but they are not changing my due date over it. Besides I know I conceived on either 2/14 or 2/16 and this due date is based on the 2/16 conception and that is the latter of the two.

My progesterone was 14. It is almost a pattern now - 16, 12, 13, 16, 12, 14.

I don't go back again until next Friday which will be 8 weeks 2 days. I believe that will be my last day and Dr. Cool said my homework is to figure out who will be delivering our baby. Yikes. I'm still so undecided!

My symptoms are still mostly fatigue and breast tenderness. I also wonder if I've had rhinitis of pregnancy. I've felt phlegm-y and nasally this entire month. I used my neti pot today and I haven't had that problem. I have to remember to use that every day.

All is well! 6w5d

Great news - the bleeding had stopped before bed and also there was no fresh blood this morning so I felt better just from that but I got reassurance in a bigger way... I called the doctor's office first thing this morning and they fit me in at 8:00 a.m. I got there a few minutes early and was taken right back. I was holding my breath but then there on the ultrasound monitor was the baby and there was the flickering heartbeat. I even got to hear the heartbeat today. It was amazing and going strong at 178 beats per minute. Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump! I got a huge grin after that! Of all days for my hubby not to make it, this had to be it!

Dr. Wonderful was so funny. He said, "Cute kid, great heartbeat!" Here I thought I was the only one who thought that little 1/5" creature was adorable. :)

So for me there will be no heavy lifting or fun times with my hubby for a bit. Yay to the first, boo to the second! But everything looked great.

And they called later with my numbers. hCG is now up to 12,629 and progesterone is at 12. It seems to be a pattern now - 16, 12, 13, 16, 12...

Friday's appointment (6w2d) & a scare (6w4d)!

So I'm way behind on updating my blog.

We had an appointment on Friday at 6 weeks 2 days. We got to see the tiniest flicker of a heartbeat! I really struggled to see it but Dr. Cool said it was there and my hubby says he saw it. The baby also grew so much. The doctor said the following week it would look like a string bean and then at 8 weeks you'd really be able to see it looked like a baby. I cannot wait for then although each one is just incredible.

They didn't do hCG for me (not sure why) but they did progesterone and it was at 16 so it went back up which is good.

Today my hubby and I were, ahem, intimate for the first time in awhile and afterwards I had some spotting on and off today. I'm worried out of my mind! I called the after hours number and Dr. Cool called me within a minute. He doesn't feel there is anything to be concerned about since everything up to this point has been progressing so well but he said so he can try to get an explanation for me to call in the morning and get an appointment for tomorrow morning for an ultrasound. I seriously wanted to drive myself to the ER to get an ultrasound NOW because I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight with all the worrying. Last time I checked it was back to no bleeding so I pray it stays that way and then I pray I'll get some reassurance tomorrow. There are lots of prayers going up right now.

It's a funny thing - all along I thought Dr. Wonderful was my doctor. He was the one I originally went to back in 2009. He diagnosed me with PCOS. He is the one who told me I could take Clomid and then when I expressed concerns about that, told me I could do Femara instead. He sent me for an HSG and my hubby for his semen analysis. The day I actually went in to get started on Femara though he was on vacation so I saw Dr. Cool and somehow he became the "owner" of my chart even though while I was there he relied on the other doctor's notes to figure out what to give me. I did not know this for the longest time. Every time I went in I circled Dr. Wonderful's name on the sign-in sheet. I always thought it was odd that the nurses would say they'd talk to the other doctor when I called with any questions and that time in my January cycle when Dr. Wonderful said he'd talk to Dr. Cool but he thought Dr. Cool would end it with Provera. I just figured maybe he was the head doctor. When I was there at 5w Dr. Wonderful made a comment about how I saw him more than Dr. Cool and I said, "Well, you are my doctor." He didn't really explain what he meant though and I started wondering if HE thought he wasn't my doctor. Finally when I was there at 5w2d I asked the nurse who she had listed as my doctor and she told me it was Dr. Cool so I told her how confused I was and she thought it was so funny and laughed and laughed. They are both wonderful doctors so it doesn't matter but I hate any type of confusion! I do wind up saying Dr. Wonderful much more often though. In all the times I've been there I only ever saw Dr. Cool four times and two of them were the last two times I was there.

I'll update again tomorrow, I hope with good news!

Quick update

Today's hCG levels are up to 1644. It wasn't *quite* doubled but very close. To double it would have been at 1666 so I'll take it! I don't think 48 hours doubling is a hard-and-fast rule. I've heard 55 hours too.

Progesterone was up to 13 today.

And my hubby swore during the ultrasound the sac was bigger. When he said it the doctor (Dr. Cool) looked in my chart and confirmed that it was larger today. He said he could see a bit of a yolk sac too. We are going back next Friday and he said that is when we could probably see the heartbeat! Yippee!

Third beta & first post-BFP ultrasound.

The week is finally up! I had my blood work and ultrasound at 8:00 a.m. today. I had my blood work and then my ultrasound. Before the doctor started the ultrasound he warned me we may see nothing. But then we saw the black spot on the screen. He said he was pleasantly surprised. He told me that I'm exactly five weeks today and due November 9. I really think my due date is November 8 but I'm going to let it go. :)

The nurse called later to say my hCG is at 833 and she said that was great. My progesterone is 12. She said nothing about it but I know it dropped from 16 last week. Hmmmm. The nurse simply said to continue taking progesterone suppositories and they'd like to see me back in two days.

They gave my husband and me pictures of the ultrasound to bring home. Of course, they did not scan well. :( I could see the dot on the screen, I can see it on the print-out, but on the scanned image I see almost nothing.

Oh, well, I'm off to bed. I'm still exhausted. This is my main symptom still - that and the tender breasts. Other than that, I'm feeling pretty good. I have cramps on and off but they're not that intense. I've had no spotting and only one day of nausea and I suspect now that it may have had to do with my dry eye problems rather than morning sickness.

Quick update...second beta!

I'm super tired but I wanted to update this before I went to bed.

I had blood drawn today, 48 hours after the last one. The last one showed my hCG levels as being 21. They were worried it was low and were saying they like it at 100. However, I was not even 4 weeks at that point. I was just 4 weeks yesterday or today. So I went back today and was just looking for it to double...and it did! After a long tense day I found out my hCG is now at 47 and my progesterone was at 16.

I got a new prescription for Endometrin, the progesterone suppositories I've been taking since 3 days after the IUI. If all goes well, I'll be taking those until approximately the end of the 10th week.

The nurses and office staff really had me stressing today. I decided I'm not going to stress though unless there is something wrong. And right now my numbers have doubled and I certainly still have the same symptoms (acne and sore boobs!) so I think things are going well.

It's official!

My hubby and I stopped at the pharmacy last night where I bought a two-pack of Clearblue digital pregnancy tests, the ones that don't have lines but "pregnant or "not pregnant." He was more apt to believe that and even more so if heard from the doctor.

I took the CB test and it said "Pregnant"! I called my doctor's office and told them I had two positive tests and they said I could come in today. So I went in and got the blood test done. First they told me they were looking for the number to be 100 but then they saw I was "early." The nurses couldn't believe I even got a positive test already and wanted to know which brand I used. I actually used both.

They called back later and said my numbers were 21 and that was positive but they wanted to see it at 100 but it was OK mine was lower since it's early yet. I'm going back to be retested 48 hours after the first one.

In the meanwhile I get to gaze at these two beauties. My hubby got a nice clear picture for me.

It still hasn't sunk in yet. I suppose it'll take awhile for me to "feel" pregnant. Right now I feel perfectly normal except my breasts are tender (but not really any more so than they'd be before my period) and I have cystic acne. I look like a teenager! It's awful, awful acne and I hope it clears up soon. But it's all for a good cause. I hope my little bean sticks and I get to meet him or her in November! I feel confident it's a boy and my hubby is insisting it's a girl. The funny thing I truly don't care and for years I thought I'd want a girl. Now that I'm actually pregnant I just do not care. I'm so excited at the thought of meeting and holding and caring for this baby.

I never thought I'd get to say these words...I AM PREGNANT!!

I took a test two days ago, ten days past ovulation, and it was negative. Lots of people told me it was early yet and I knew that but in my head I just knew I wasn't pregnant. Well, much to my surprise this morning, the First Response Early Result came up with a second line!



I haven't even told my husband yet. It hasn't quite sunk in yet! I am not sure if I want to tell him by just spilling it or with the idea I had months ago - to buy a little baby shirt from the MLB team we love and wrap it for him with a note (not exactly sure what the note will say but it will be addressed to Daddy and signed by the baby).

Trigger shot is out of my system.

The trigger shot is out of my system as of today, 7 days past trigger, which means my HPT was negative today. It was technically about 6.5 days past and it could have even been sooner but I hadn't tested since 2 or 3 days ago. I tested this morning and there wasn't even a smidgen of color on the test line.

I really feel as if today, as the last day I got a positive from the trigger, is the last time I'm seeing a positive for a long time. I'm not sure if I'm being negative or realistic but I really don't feel pregnant and while I'm still hoping and praying I am, I don't think that I am and am trying to prepare myself for that.

My test at the doctor's office is a week from tomorrow morning. I really don't want to go because that could be the end of any hope. I'm thinking I'll probably test on an HPT before I even go there just so I'm not sitting on pins and needles all day waiting for the blood test results. (At least, I'm assuming it will be a blood test.)

First (and only?) IUI!

I slept so poorly last night! I am coming down with another cold I think, as I've had a horrible cough since Monday night. I was just sick five weeks ago so of course this feels too soon to have caught another cold. Plus I was so worried we'd oversleep that I did not sleep well. I was up almost every hour I think. Ugh.

This morning I had to satisfy my POAS urges and as soon as I woke up I did a pregnancy test and an ovulation test. The pregnancy test was faint and the ovulation test was very dark. I had a box of Clearblue Easy digitals (with the smiley face indicating LH surge) in the linen closet so I decided to use one of those too just so I could get a smiley face for once! It came up positive too. I wonder if this is as dark as the pregnancy tests will get before they go negative again. I guess I'll find out in the next few days.

Then after my shower I had to get my hubby up so we could get ready to go to our IUI. He had to produce a sample within an hour of our arrival and we were due to arrive at 8:00 a.m. He was ready in that regard by 7:32 but still had to shower and I still had to dry my hair and put on my makeup and get dressed. We wound up not leaving the house til 8:02. I was freaking out. We arrived at 8:07 and they took his sample but didn't call us back for about a half hour. The nurse asked if we'd ever done this before and we told her no and she said she hoped this was our only time and she explained the procedure and also explained that the doctor prescribed Endometrin (progesterone suppository) for me that I'll take for two weeks. She gave me the prescription and a starter kit. Then the doctor came in. The IUI was over pretty quickly. He told me it was his easiest one this week and he told my hubby that his "boys were beautiful."

I know this has only a 15% chance of working but I am hopeful anyway. I'm trying to stay balanced. There are moments where I think there is no way it will work. And other moments where I'm so hopeful. I pray this actually works but that if it doesn't, I can handle it OK and not become an emotional wreck.

POAS addict!

I took an Answer OPK to work today. I was so desperate to see a positive OPK. It had been months and months (5 or 6?). Well, the darn test must have been defective because the control line never even showed up.

So a few hours later I was home and did an OPK and an HPT. I think both of them were positive. How funny is that? The OPK was very obviously positive. Hallelujah. And I'm not sure on the HPT. I think it was very faintly positive so that will be my day 1 of "testing out my trigger." Since the Ovidrel trigger shot makes HPTs positive and it varies for each person how long it takes for the trigger to be out of the system many women "test out the trigger" and since I just love POAS I decided to do that. So I'll test every day or every other day until I get a negative. And then if...when...if I get a positive I'll know it's real and not left over from the trigger! My doctor did not tell me to do that but I want to know.

See how purty a positive is??

Happy Valentine's Day, a day of good news for us!

We went back to the RE's office this morning, where the nurse was able to get blood on the first try. Whew. Then during the ultrasound the doctor told me I had large follicles on both ovaries. One of them was measuring about 19x22! (I still think one of them is a cyst but whatever.) So he told me to do the Ovidrel trigger tonight and schedule insemination for Wednesday morning. After last month's abysmal failure I never thought I'd get to this point. I was grinning from ear to ear when I walked out of that office.

My hubby made a lovely lobster dinner for Valentine's Day. For the last few years we haven't made a big deal out of the holiday and this year was no different. We just had a quiet dinner at home and exchanged cards and hubby gave me my Ovidrel shot which was anti-climatic. It was way easier than I thought it would be. The needle was small and thin and I barely felt it going in. I hope it does what it's supposed to do.

Day 15 update!

I have been so anxious about this day since Thursday now. I have been feeling some major stuff going on in the ovary region the past few days and started panicking that I'd ovulate before I have a chance to get the IUI.

I slept poorly last night. I did not want a repeat of the last time we had to ride to the RE's only location open on the weekends (which is about 30 minutes away). Last time we overslept so this time I kept waking up and falling back asleep when I saw it was still hours away. Finally I just got up at 7:40, took my temp, and got my shower. My appointment wasn't til 9:45 a.m. but I was so anxious and nervous I decided to just stay up.

I had even more issues with the blood draw. I had a nurse I never met before who tried both arms and got nothing but sure had fun wiggling the needle around in there. I'm going to be covered in bruises since I still have bruises left over from Thursday, day 12. She got another nurse to step in who finally got some from my right hand. She told me the same thing the nurse told me on day 4, that they should just get it from my hand. She feels it hurts more from the hand (and I'm inclined to agree) but she taught me a trick to exhale right as the needle goes in and it doesn't hurt nearly as much. But last time (day 12) I did tell them to go for the hands and that nurse did BOTH hands and got NO blood and finally another nurse was successful with the arm. So last time and this time I walked out with three bandaged sites. This is getting to be so stressful. I start panicking that they are getting no blood, not to mention it's very uncomfortable with them digging the needles around in my arm hunting for a juicy vein.

Then I was taken back to an ultrasound room and I met the last doctor in the practice. He was really super nice and he made me feel comfortable, was even joking with us and he made me laugh. I'm going to call him Dr. Jovial for now. He is the doctor our friends did not like so I was nervous to meet him but we really liked him. Of course, he is not in charge of our case and we don't have to worry that he will time our IUIs wrong (like they feel he did to theirs) and all I was doing was getting an ultrasound with him. He said my lining looked good at 9 mm. My right ovary now has a follicle that is 16x18 with a mean of 17 mm. And on the left I think he was looking at my cyst but said there was a follicle that was 19 mm. I'm pretty sure that was the cyst but the one on the right is still growing nicely. He said that I might be ready to trigger tonight! I had to wait for blood work results though.

My husband and I went and killed some time in a Starbucks and then went to lunch at a place my hubby wanted to try near the doctor's office. The nurse called while we were eating and said my estrogen is now 130 (wow!), progesterone is 0.2, and LH is 7.5. They want me back in tomorrow ("No!" my veins scream in terror!) for more blood work and an ultrasound, which now pushes my Ovidrel back to tomorrow night at the earliest with an IUI for Wednesday morning at the earliest. DH is excited because he read an article on Time magazine's web site that babies conceived on the 18th of this month will have a due date of 11/11/11 and he thinks that is cool. I think it is cool too but I can't put any more pressure on myself. :) I know that less than 5% of babies are born on their due dates anyway so if I manage to ovulate and conceive this week I'd have as good a chance of having an 11/11/11 baby no matter which day it is. But I have to remember just ovulating will be a good thing since I haven't since early September.

Second Femara cycle - Day 12 results.

Today was my day 12 appointment with the RE for my second cycle of Femara.

When I was there on day 4, the nurse told me, after taking several stabs at getting blood from my inner elbow, to say from now on they should just take the blood from my hand. So today I told the nurse (a different one) to take the blood from my hand. She tried my right hand. No blood. She tried my left hand. No blood. She was starting to sweat literally. I could tell how frustrated she was and I felt like a human pincushion! So they decided to go ahead with my ultrasound. I drank two glasses of water while waiting for the doctor and then when I was done I was able to get blood drawn - from my inner elbow - by a different nurse. After all that!! Ha ha.

Dr. Wonderful wasn't there today but Dr. Cool was. He said that my lining was still thin but my right ovary had a lead follicle that was 14 mm. The nurse said it was 15x13. He said it should be ready in a few days. I had to wait for my blood results though before I knew for sure what they were doing.

So the nurse just called about an hour ago. I was in a meeting so I couldn't take her call but she left a message saying they want me back on Sunday for more blood work and an ultrasound and she promises she won't be drawing my blood. Ha ha. Estrogen is at 55 and LH is at 10.

I don't often post twice in one day but...

...I really needed to vent and didn't have the guts to say what I'm thinking to anyone's face.

First off, we went to our friends' for the Super Bowl. This is my husband's good friend and his wife. They were the ones I wrote about awhile ago who were going through fertility treatments and then got pregnant while on a break from the treatments. I wrote how I cried and was happy at the same time when I found out. Well, tonight I am realizing it's going to be harder and harder to be around her. Her husband has a bunch of baseball tickets and he asked my husband to go with him one night in June because his wife is due in June and doesn't want to go (understandable). So then he asked if I could do him a favor and while he is at the game with my husband if I could stay with his wife in case she goes into labor. So basically I'll be baby-sitting the pregnant lady.

Then I come home from there and log onto Facebook and an acquaintance of mine wrote "Feeling a bit blue. Sometimes it's really hard being a mom." And I get that. I really do. But I wanted so badly to comment (but would never have the guts), "Sometimes it's really hard not being a mom when it seems every woman around me is a mom or will soon be a mom." Aarrgghh. Then another acquaintance is using a new app called Little One Pregnancy Calendar. That came up in my News Feed. On days like this I wonder why I have a Facebook page. I guess I'm a glutton for punishment!

I just needed to vent and get this out. I hate being this jealous person. I wonder when it will be my turn. I turn 32 this month and I guess it is really getting to me that I'm not even pregnant yet.

This too shall pass. I must keep reminding myself.

Second Femara cycle update

I can't believe I'm on day 8 already of this cycle, which means tonight will be the last night I take Femara! I did something that had me in sort of a panic. I started the Femara on Wednesday (day 4) and took it before bed. Thursday we had no power (ongoing problem here since October - but that's another story) and I also was picking up my "new" car that day. So it was hectic evening because when we got to the car dealer my hubby went over it with a fine-toothed comb and then they eventually had to rewash it because it was kind of dirty and it was hard to see if there were scrapes or scratches and they guarantee none. It is a used car place that sells late models with low mileage in good condition. We got out of there after 8:00 p.m. Then because we had no power (and everything in our house is electric including the heat and the stove/oven) we had to go get something for dinner. We came home and still had no power and called the electric company again (hubby had called earlier) and they said they'd send someone out so we waited and waited. It was freezing in our house. But they never came. I finally got tired of waiting and went up to bed and totally crashed. I never took my Femara (day 5, day 2 of Femara) so I took it in the morning when I remembered. Then I was petrified that I screwed up the cycle. I decided to just keep taking it at night so technically I took it twice on day 6 and not at all on day 5.

I posted on SoulCysters about it (yay! SC is back!) and several women pointed out to me that I DID respond to 2.5 mg of Femara but just not well enough (and they also said since I took my missed dose within 24 hours I should be OK). So that made me feel better. All this time I'm thinking 12 mm means I did not respond. So I'm back to thinking positively! I did respond and now having twice the Femara might make me respond a bit better. I hope I get to the point of Ovidrel and IUI this time! I want to get something out of this cycle!